TO CHANGE OR NOT TO CHANGE
- about rejections, changing, know-all and some possible alternatives

After submitting his book manuscript, Dr. Lawrence J. Peter received his first of many rejection letters. The publisher said, "I can foresee no commercial possibilities for such a book and consequently can offer no encouragement." Thirty turndowns later, Morrow and Company agreed to publish The Peter Principle..

It stayed on the New York Times best-seller list for 6 straight years. and was translated into 38 languages.

John Marquand in 1936 received a response to his manuscript for
The Late George Apley: "Unpublishable."

Author Pearl Buck received many rejections for The Good Earth and one publisher rejected it by saying that the American public "is not interested in anything on China."

Jean Auel, author of the 1980 best-seller Clan of the Cave Bears, was told in one of the less offensive rejections, that the reading public won't buy expensive novels unless the author has an established reputation - like a James Michener.

Thomas Wolfe suffered many rejections with comments like, "Sorry, but we do not believe it would be possible or worthwhile to even try to doctor this up." Eventually, one publisher did take a chance on Look Homeward Angel.

When reading about many misguided rejections, - and there are examples of foolish rejections in fields of science, medicine, and technology - it makes us believe that we would not have been so close minded.

I believe that the words, "I've thought about it and changed my mind" are words that have a ring of joy to them. They are words that uplift the spirit and prove that a mind can change, that people do grow and evolve.

Politics aside - I would like us to embrace change - to rethink our ideas and opinions, and enjoy the fact that they are different now than they were a week ago, two months ago, or 14 years ago. If only we could all listen openly, eager to accept rather than reject - ask a few questions to get more information and then, after thinking about it, be willing to say - I've thought about what you've offered - and I've changed my mind.

No, of course we don't have to accept every new idea or suggestion - but unless changing our minds is one strong and respected option, we'll never be able to change anything major in a world that could be improved by making changes.

Important changes begin with individuals who are willing and proud to change their minds. What do you think of an editor who in 1889 said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Kipling, but you just don't know how to use the English language." And stuck to that opinion even after Kipling's success.

In youth we are proud of being undefeated in argument - proud of sticking firmly to a conclusion we came to way back when.

There are some people who always need the last say; they are annoyed at hearing another point of view - and measure personal success on being able to say, "I haven't changed my mind on that subject for 20 years."

"It is impossible to defeat an ignorant person in argument."
- Wm. G. McAdoo

These people are close-minded rejecters of other's abilities, capabilities, ideas and perceptions. They cannot change; they're in a class with the publisher who rejected Walt Whitman's Leaves of Grass or the one who said of John Le Carre, "he hasn't got any future." I agree with William G. McAdoo, that it's impossible to defeat an ignorant person in argument.

I believe it was Maughm who wrote a short story called, "The Know All" and I remember that after reading it, I decided to add two important words to my language. They are "for now." I am able to firmly state an opinion and will often start by saying, "For now - this is what I think." Those two words give me the freedom to change my mind and the desire to hear what others have to say. I now offer to share those powerfully helpful two words with you. These words include the possibility that we may be wrong and you've got to have confidence to use them.

Unfortunately, most jobs are still filled by matching resumes to expectations and pre-determined requirements. Narrow minded executives think they risk less by fitting education and precise experience to job descriptions. I understand there is even software that will match resumes to requirements for companies that would like to return to the Dark Ages.

Can you imagine someone telling David Packard that he did not have what it takes to be a CEO? Well, that's what he was told!

Rejecting people of intelligence because they do not exactly match job specifications is equivalent to the rejection of George Bernard Shaw, whose first book was sent to every English-speaking publisher on earth; the work was not only rejected but rudely dismissed.

We are a nation of many double messages - we say we want change, and say we are looking for strong leaders with broad abilities to make wise decisions. Yet we don't trust those who change their minds and we choose mediocre people who say the expected things and repeat the obvious as though it were a great new innovative idea. I guess it's easier to accept staid and stogy, lusterless people who match an expected and typical set of requirements.

But if we are serious about wanting success and making strides in problem solving, we must approach change with courage and pride. We must seek and accept innovative people as well as innovative technologies.

We must encourage change by changing ourselves. We must become acceptors, NOT rejecters. We must consider it a good day when we hear ourselves say - I thought about what you said, and I'd like to hear more - to understand your point of view; help me to change my mind.

If you were warned - as I was - not to expect people to change - not to marry or hire anyone with a hope of change in mind - you were, in my opinion, incorrectly advised. We all have collected those old nuggets of advice that are not accurate; this is one of them. I say, "Expect change."

"Youth is not measured between the hip bones but rather between the ears."
-Arynne Simon

I see many people changing - eager to change - in the best of ways - from life style, to career goals, to attitudes about retirement, money, and relationships.

We may prefer to call it growth, development or improvement - but basically it is change. So people do change, you can change; you can retain your old ethical standards and change your opinions, your mind, and even your goals. You can have it all - you can be all - you can evolve.

Our society will continue rejecting ideas and people, excluding rather than including, until we learn to embrace change on a personal level. In fear that you will miss my point, I shall repeat, that unless we can change our minds we cannot truly say we accept or believe in change.

As a speech writer, I have written too many executive speeches on the subject of change for people who would never proudly admit to ever changing their minds.

"Be not afraid to change. We are all like a Russian doll nesting ever smaller dolls inside of it, we each have an infinite of selves. Explore them." - Daphne Merkin