Our nation's leaders speak of the importance of family values, urging that lost parenting and relationship skills must be relearned if we are to reinstate needed values and behaviors that will positively impact our communities and our nation.

So, also, are Company/Corporate values essential to our nation's health and growth. Business leaders - the ones who are real leaders - are rapidly reaching out to learn new skills that effectively bond firm business skills with flexibility and kindness.

When iron was combined with carbon, steel was created; we are seeing American business power combined with relationship know-how - producing a new leadership metal.

Along these lines, I have found that the manner in which a conflict is dealt with is often more important to long-term success than the resolution. The way irritating situations are handled is what builds or kills any relationship - whether at work or at home.

Aggressively insisting on your own way or passively ignoring the irritation, even giving in to "make peace," are all set-ups for big trouble down the line.

Those of you who know me, know that while I support a clear chain of command, I also champion this era of the 90's when we can often apply newer and better methods of behavior. Learning to resolve problems in a productive and kind way gets the greatest pay-off no matter if you define the bottom line in terms of relationships or dollar profits. The real win is to profit in all ways.

I would like to share with you a process that is proving successful for resolving conflicts in business relationships and personal ones as well. Boiling it down onto the printed page is not the ideal way to teach you how to make it work, but it's a start and worth attempting.

And, here are some quotes on kindness you might find useful.

"Be kind - remember every one you meet is fighting a battle - everyone's lonesome."
Marion Parker

"Start some kind word on its travels. There is no telling where the good it may do will stop."
Sir Wilfred Grenfel

"You can't achieve anything without getting in someone's way. You can't be detached and effective; you need not be unkind."
Abba Eban

"No one can be perfect; you can only aim at being a reasonable and kind human being."
Arynne Simon

"Where the heart lies, let the brain lie also."
Robert Browning

"If you are a terror to many, then beware of many."
Ausonius

"Here's my golden rule for a tarnished age; be fair and kind to others, but then keep after them until they're fair and kind to you."
Alan Alda
"Forget injuries; NEVER forget kindness."
Confucius