Many of you know that my work has evolved into Corporate Mediation . To back up my experience I've added the formal training that will help me to measure my success in ways other than praise and letters of thanks.

Cooling down angry encounters between people at the workplace, before these encounters escalate into lawsuits, theft, or revenge plots, is quite satisfying. And part of my new measurement for success is whether the people involved learn a process to help them in the future to find their own solutions without requiring the services of a professional mediator.

I've been teaching some mediation techniques to managers and I've begun to see clear signs of progress within their work groups. There are many techniques needed for a full-scale mediation session but I've selected a few that will help you cool down an angry confrontation. I've chosen the acronym CAN to help you remember the 3 steps.

Commonality - as quickly as you can find the common or mutual interests ("We both want to be considered important to the team." or "You and I are both worried about our jobs.")

Acknowledge - the other person by showing that you've really heard and understand his/her point of view. You may not agree with it, but people want to be heard especially angry people. Even just repeating what has been said helps. There are better ways to let people know that you really hear them and I'd like to teach that to you one day.

Neutralize the feelings by looking for a solution and moving the conversation forward. "Well next time this comes up can we try doing it this way...etc." or "How about - from now on - telling me your good ideas before letting XXXX in on them." Redirect the conversation forward into the future and redirect it up out of the heart and into the head. The worst thing you can do is discuss the reasons for the anger and what happened. Don't go back - go forward ASAP.

Taking a first step to cooling down an angry situation with this professional precision will save your company dollars and headlines from lawsuits. Legal and HR will heap blessings upon you. You CAN do it!

HERE ARE SOME OF MY CURRENT FAVORITE QUOTES TO INSPIRE YOU.

"Sum semper magistrem. We are always teachers."

"Happiness is like a kiss; in order to get any good out of it you have to give it to someone else."
adapted freely from somewhere by
Arynne Simon

" It's great to arrive but the trip's most always most of the fun."
Malcolm Forbes

"I've become convinced that the neurological connection between the ear and the brain runs through the pocketbook."
Paul Daley

"To have imagination without learning is like having wings but no feet."
From a Fortune Cookie