The precise separation of the differences between similar words is an essential factor in logical thinking and effective communications; there is no chance for self awareness and understanding until the accuracy of word usage is mastered. According to poet, John Ciardi, this is the ultimate responsibility of the poet and he cites the example of the word rendezvous. Most people use that romantic word (rendezvous) when describing a clandestine meeting between two people. The very word causes vibrations of love and excitement to stir the reader's or listener's imagination. As I recall, Ciardi suggests that 'rendezvous' should be used only to describe two boats meeting in a body of water away from shore.

There are those die-hards like John Ciardi and Robin MacNeil of PBS who insist on preserving and protecting the absolutely accurate meaning of a word; I for one cheer their efforts to protect our precious language. I am not obsessively championing that effort but I have come to realize how very important it is for people to use language accurately. To get in touch with each other and with ourselves, there is a desperate need to examine the differences in words, uses, and meaning - especially in a widely diversified culture.

Ciardi and his ilk are devoted to language; I am devoted to the pursuit of happiness and would like to remove as many barriers to happiness as possible. I have observed that the inaccurate use of words complicates life and often results in foolish or painful situations.

There are current popular books worth examining on the differences between people, between the sexes, between cultures that further complicate situations. Let's consider a few simple examples that might help both in business and in your personal life.

Consider the words suggestion and instruction. A suggestion means that after you have spoken the other person has the right to consider what you have said but do what they want. If your intention is to have the final say, then perhaps it would be best to use the word instruction to let those around you know where you're coming from.

It seems that many people understand the feeling of troubled ecstasy and the word passion is, indeed, appropriate to describe that condition. But at what point do we call passion love? Consider the unpleasant consequences for so many people who have applied those words incorrectly. Books and films (even the recent release, Bridges of Madison County) further confuse that issue.

And then reflect on the words discussion and argument ; do you think that the "McLaughlin Screamers" * engage in intellectual discussion? Even Jerry Spence's wonderfully humane new book about how to argue and win every time will further fuzz the true meaning of having a discussion - an activity that should be filled with listening, sharing, acknowledging others and revealing the many possibilities and facets of a subject.

As an aside here, I put to you that the damage the McLaughlin Screamers do to each other - and to the topics hurled at them by the shouting McGlaughlin - is a shameful lesson in offensive communication. These supposedly informed, intelligent participants retort simplistic, know-all ideas in styles clearly intended to demean and embarrass each other. The simplistic cop episodes with bad-guys and guns are, for at least some viewers, clearly make believe. But when we lose the skill of rational discussion we risk losing everything worth while.

Business meetings, legislative debates, campaigns and family problems are following the Screamers model - and in my opinion this should be put at the top of our list of what's wrong in the U.S. today.

The MacLaughlins and other radio/TV know-alls are robbing us of our chance to solve other serious problems through discussion, debate, negotiation - by sharing ideas and respecting differences. So I suggest we begin by accurately describing what we see, what we do, and what we feel; the accuracy of language is closely tied into the thinking process.

In many environments 4 letter words have lost their true meaning and are used so casually that they begin to sound like jungle grunts. Complicated problems can be solved and this is a call to move forward slowly - to relearn and use the true meaning of words.

It has recently been established that much of negative - even criminal behavior - is not so much due to the environment or dysfunctional background. It seems that a person's negative behavior is strongly determined by how that person thinks, and communicates.

Corporate teamwork, family harmony, partnerships, parent/child relationships, and even TV talk shows could improve by knowing the ten thinking errors that cause criminal behavior.

THE BAD NEWS according to a recent report: of new research:
It has been recently confirmed that the factor most predictive of violent behavior is not a history of violence or mental illness or drug abuse; it's being laid off from a job. In my experience, most HR managers have been aware of this but it's an important factor to consider when reorganizing or shrinking your team or company. There are specific and improved ways worth learning to reduce the painful impact of any redeployment or reorg process.