- Managing Over-Reactive Anger and Stress

The preponderance of seminars, classes, workshops on stress reduction is clear indication that emotional factors and health are closely linked. Most health care professionals are now convinced that stress factors like anger or fear build up to cause tensions that translate into disease.

Stress could be defined as the condition that results from buildup of anger and fear. A tight schedule, or a short deadline, do not cause stress unless anger or fear are part of the equation.

A simple thought like "I'll lose my job if I miss this deadline" changes the chemistry of an entire situation by adding the fear factor. The rapid-fire sound of a critical manager adds anger into a work environment and escalates mundane work pressure into unhealthy stress.

In 1979 the Norman Cousins book " Anatomy of an Illness" revolutionized the way medical professionals think about illness, wellness, and health care. This best-selling book by a well-respected writer managed to jump-start the whole field of mind-body medicine. This book hit the best-seller lists at a time when psychologists were teaching people to express their anger in order to maintain emotional well being. But Norman Cousins believed in the power of laughter to counter the ill effects of stress.

In recent years the word abuse has come into use to describe out of control anger that often escalates into actions of a violent nature. Yet the anger of a parent or manager that is often exaggerated — even without violent action — plays havoc with the stress levels of people at home, or at work.

The current epidemic of stress and stress-related illnesses may be the result of an increased level of life intensity caused in part by a media saturated world, For the 21st century, emotional fitness coach, Arynne Simon, Ph.D. says that free expression of angry feelings is an outdated method. She says, "it is damaging to relationships and also to the health of the angry person as well as those who are targets of anger." But, she warns, that holding anger in is never a healthful option. Therefore Simon says that anger is best redirected or prevented by a full understanding of one’s feelings, the signals that a situation may be getting “dangerous,” and updated communication skills. “I’m angry and getting angrier” is a simple example of a verbal communication that expresses one’s feelings without damaging others.

Simon coaches clients to become skilled at coping with both anger and fear; she teaches them to express their feelings with words and to understand what situations may be dangerous. Defensive communication, like defensive driving, may, indeed, be necessary for maintaining relationships that work and a productive environment free of anger and fear.

Simon’s original and pragmatic short term coaching is often described as emotional fitness. Dr. Simon reassures her clients that " it is much faster and easier to become emotionally fit than physically fit."

Simon says that "By the time anger has taken hold of a situation, it is like a wild thing out of a cage. It is impossible, once anger is unleashed, to cage it again. She warns that using manipulative behaviors to regain control of a situation or person is destructive to the relationship. “It is far better” Simon says, “to recognize angry feelings before they escalate into action and learn to manage the situation rather than manipulate it."

For people whose anger spirals out of control she recommends Anger Management and says that many workshops are springing up in communities, and at corporations.

Simon explains that, "like any other compulsive behavior, anger needs to be re-routed through the brain.” Out of control anger, requires slow-down steps like breathing, writing, or counting to give the anger a chance to slow down and travel into one’s brain.

In order to prevent their feelings from translating into destructive action, the angry person, the alcoholic, the overeater, all have to realize that their emotions are controlling their lives. The dieter who has learned to write down what he eats or add up some points to count carbohydrates, is slowing down the emotional impulse to just grab some food. By sending desire first to the brain — where the compulsive behavior can find new choices...to eat cheese or a cookie; to hit or not to hit, etc. a person can build a new behavior pattern that is not compulsive.

After first learning to deal with the immediate crisis/emergency behavior, most of Dr. Simon’s clients are eager to learn new ways to appropriately process anger and fear in order to build meaningful and valuable relationships and to increase career capabilities.

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NOTE: Since 1979, hundreds of books have followed in the Norman Cousins tradition, including a new one by Arynne Simon, Ph.D. , "Playing Life From Center Court" to be released in April, 2004 by Select Books.