Susan Caldwell¹s book on raising problem kids and Pete Roussos article on delinquent teenagers have inspired me to put together this list of How To Raise A Kid Who Will Cause Misery For Everyone mostly you!

1. Do not expect help from your child. Parents must do all the work and take all the responsibility, even for laundry and food.
2. Give your teenager everything they want and work overtime, if you must, to be sure they have all the spending money they want to keep up with their friends. Immediate gratification is what you will nurture.
3. Don't interfere with their pleasures. Let your kids watch any film they want and never pre-check for content quality. If inappropriate choices are made, be sure you act as if it's "no big deal."
4. Never show any interest in what your kids are learning and don't bother to check on homework or the condition of their books and papers. Above all ­ never help with homework!
5. Act as a buffer when the school or a coach imposes consequences. Bail them out and make excuses. Best of all, write excuse notes that are not quite true.
6. Refer to the Police as "Cops" and denigrate anyone in authority.
7. Apologies are not necessary because Kids Will Be Kids. That must be your policy!
8. Make excuses for them when things go wrong and use your imagination. It's not necessary to be quite accurate. Be sure your kids are not accountable to people in authority.
9. Be inconsistent about punishments for limits that are set. Why set limits, anyway?
10. Tantrums are okay and so is sulking. After an hour, just give in.
11. Be arbitrary about your house rules. After all, your kids live in the house, too so your rules about ethics, smoking and drinking should not be imposed on them. Everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion; that is the lesson you will emphasize.
12. Quarrel and fight often in front of your children. Never even suggest that there may be better ways to resolve conflicts. Ignore professional therapists, mediators, and psychologists. Definitely make fun of these professionals and people who use them.
13. Discuss clothes and hair styles and sports but never bring up for family discussion the issues like politics, religion, or morality.
14. When you lose your temper use name calling and include the filthiest words you can think of. Winning at any cost is what you are teaching. Right?
15. Send your kids to religious services while you go to brunch with friends or exercise. Be sure that your church or synagogue is not a signbificant part of your community life. Substitute a local bar, or golf club, tennis club, or fitness center.
16. Your child will not be part of family decision-making until they contribute money to the family. After all, money, not grades or community service, is the determining factor about who has a voice worth respecting.
17. Never ask for forgiveness when you make a mistake. Play life as if you are always right.
18. Expect your kids to do as you say and not as you do.
19. Embarrass your youngsters by criticizing them in public; that way they'll never forget it.
20. Express love very often but never express your admiration and respect for your children.