Surely by now everyone knows the success and power of the art of quality listening whether it is for parenting, managing, or selling. The silver-tongued salesman, whose line of gab is polished to a Vaseline shine is no longer assured of as much success, as is the sales person to whom listening has become a fine tuned skill.

However, too many people – especially sales people - consider that by careful listening they run a huge risk for which they need extensive courage. ”If I really listen to someone, is it necessary to shift my response or opinion to match what they say? ”, asks Vicky Turner, a systems engineer in San Francisco.

As a pragmatic person and experienced marketing consultant, I put to you that customers will never look at things from your perspective. Accept this as a fact and now let’s learn to separate this topic of listening into two equal parts. Part #1 is your willingness to listen and to be open to learning; part #2 is your being convinced to do things the way someone else says you should or wants you to.

As for part #1: It may not be in your or your company’s best interest to give a customer exactly what they ask for. It may not be a good time to listen to the suggestions made for a product change or price reduction when a customer, or a member of the press suggests it.

It is both natural and honorable for people to ask for what they want or what they believe is the best way for you to do things. But it’s up to you to make sure there’s a clear benefit or profit in supplying what is asked for. You may find the request or advice interesting but would like more time to think it over. It’s important to listen and to acknowledge what you have heard. Always be certain that people know you hear and have absorbed what they have requested. And thank them for their comments. That will take care of part #1 of the two-part skill set called LISTENING.

As for part #2: You meet customers to sell your company’s product and you have a set of instructions from your company. Then you hear a suggestion or request. But before you say, “no way," always slow down and take the time to say how much you appreciate the customer’s input, feedback, information, or whatever. Say something like “Thank you for your opinion and I’m sure my company would like to think about your suggestion and request. Actually your input has given us something important to think about.” Then move the sale forward by following through with your company’s policies, prices, etc.

I suggest you report the request or suggestion or any new information back to your company's leadership. Then in private they can analyze and determine for the future what is best done for the company and based on your input they may change the product or the price.

Listening skills are essential to build strong relationships with customers or the press. But remind yourself that quality listening doesn’t mean that you must always do what others suggest or request.

It is surely true that customers have all sorts of great ways to improve your product. As a representative you must enthusiastically sell your product. Indeed, you can build relationships and also sell big if you acknowledge the giver of new ideas while selling what you have. There is a natural tendency to please every single person. This is not selling a product. This is not even building a real relationship. This is what is called selling out!

You can learn to be an expert listen, letting customers know that your company is open to change -- even though you do not give them what they want immediately.

Arynne SIMON SAYS: PEOPLE WANT TO BE HEARD AND ACKNOWLEDGED EVEN MORE THAN THEY WANT YOU TO DO WHAT THEY SAY.