Everyone has to deal with people at work who are best described as "problem." Surely you know someone at work who makes your blood boil. Chances are that you've tried to deal with this person and other difficult coworkers or family members. The stress and anxiety of dealing with negative people can get to be too much to handle - especially in the heat of summer and as we all get older. As you become more susceptible to heart disease and lowered immune function, you would do well to learn how to deal with these problem people and high-stress situations. Learning how is much better than having a physical or mental breakdown. So here are five tips to learn how to deal with difficult coworkers and difficult people in general.

Tip #1 - It's Impossible to Please Everybody
No matter how competent and wonderful a person you are, you just can't please everybody. Many times, people who are known for being difficult just haven't learned yet how to think of anyone other than themselves, which makes it hard for them to be considerate of others. They may also have a very negative outlook on life, perhaps because of a troubled past or because of their current situation. Their negativity may be very deeply rooted within many years of heartache, so the first thing you have to realize when dealing with problem people is that although they may not have just cause for their bad attitude, they may be dealing with a lot of stuff that's simply out of your reach.

Tip #2 - Be Prepared for Conflict
The best way to deal with a negative situation is to see it coming. If you're going to have to work closely with or otherwise deal with a toxic person, know ahead of time how you're going to handle the situation. Set up the conflict in your head and work through how you're going to handle it. Get some assertive advice or re-read my book, "Playing Life From Center Court." Know your own limitations and be prepared to uphold your morals and values. Recognize their problems as their own problems, not yours. When people become defensive, a very handy group of words that I've learned to use lately is: "This is not about YOU. It's about ME."

Tip #3 - Don't Fuel the Fire
You're going to be tempted to retaliate - to lash out at toxic people, doctors, co-workers, even your own children, in an attempt to try and "make them understand" how their negativity is affecting you. However, 99% of the time, this is the worst thing that you can do. People who thrive on being difficult also thrive on controversy. Any exchange of negative words makes them feel powerful and fuels their need for pessimism. So, "Kill them with kindness" is an old-fashioned piece of advice for dealing with situations involving problem people. They will either become too frustrated or too bored with you, eventually become disinterested in engaging in debate with you. Once they back off, your work situation can become more focused on the actual work, relieving the pressure of dealing with this difficult coworker. Waring: Your children will never back off. Sorry, but they insist on gathering you into their game. Just get strong - not tough - but strong!

Tip #4 - Lend a Helping Hand
Although not beneficial in all situations, sometimes problem people are looking for an ally - someone to spill their heart to and vent their pent up frustrations to. Just by being a good listener, you may be able to better the situation between you and this coworker that you find to be so difficult. Once you've broken down the wall of conflict, you may then be able to give suggestions on how this person could improve their attitude to help both your work situation and theirs. If they are not receptive to your input, try using a neutral third-party to navigate the conflict into a negotiated outcome. (Do not compromise - I would rather you patiently negotiate. Read my article about the difference between negotiating and compromising on Arynne.com.

Tip #5 - Move On
There comes a point when you just can't fix the problem, so whether it's them or you that has to move on, somebody needs to. If working or living with this toxic person has become unbearable, you would do well to start thinking about either moving yourself or letting them go - if you have that kind of say in the situation. A good idea is to have the courage to bring up the problem. And then say how you'd like to handle it "next time." Try to conclude every encounter by saying how you will both do it next time. Simon says: Life is happiest if planned and lived in forward motion.

If you're stuck dealing with problem people every day, it's important that you try and better your situation either by learning to deal with this difficult person or getting them out of your life. There's no reason why you are required to give someone the power over you. It's up to you to decide whether you're going to have a good day or a bad day.